8 successful folks Share How not to find a Mentor

discovering any person that will help you navigate your career path is an important to success, but remember to steer clear of these errors.

by way of Amy Elisa Jackson, Levo League

October 9, 2015

Now, don’t get me wrong—mentorship is among the largest keys to success. however consider it or now not, there’s a right and a unsuitable method to searching for out a mentor and construct a jointly a good suggestion relationship. in lots of circumstances, the perfect mentoring happens without the formal label “mentoring.” nobody asked any one to move steady, no person sent a be aware pronouncing, “Would you be my mentor?” followed with the aid of yes, no, and perhaps containers to test. Questions have been asked, thoughts were shared, and recommendation used to be given. Voilà, an effortless mentor relationship is born.

right here, eight a hit folks dish on how—and the way no longer—to discover a mentor.

1. It’s concerning the person, now not Their place

For me, mentorship is very important. I absolutely attribute a variety of my success to being ready where I had quite a few nice mentors, people I may go to and ask for recommendation. the standard of your mentors is in point of fact necessary as a younger individual within the place of business, as a result of it really shapes your point of view on how work must be carried out. for instance, when you’ve got a mentor that isn’t essentially the most forward considering or honest, i think that may be a foul thing. I’ve been very blessed to have had mentors which can be incredibly honest and transparent and are high quality leaders, and i think it has actually helped form who i’m as an individual.

—Alexa von Tobel, CEO and founding father of LearnVest

2. Don’t always are expecting A Relationship—Mentors are available in All completely different kinds

One key bit of recommendation i’d supply isn’t necessarily to search for someone that you would be able to build a relationship with, but look for somebody who that you may ask a very simple question to, who can reply to an email very easily to you. what is it that you simply need? do not seem so much on, let’s take a seat down and have coffee or let’s have a cocktail, however what’s the one factor that you just need this specific individual that you’re looking for a mentor from to in truth guide you thru? because i believe that’s what has helped me so much is when there’s a certain question that i have, and i more or less level it to the fitting person that i do know who can if truth be told answer it. It takes the pressure off the person who is being requested.

—Janet Mock, big apple occasions bestselling writer, recommend and host of MSNBC’s So well-liked

three. as a substitute Of Insisting On coffee Or Dinner conferences, Be versatile

within the 35 to 45 [age range], you have got mothers who function and suppose very completely different than dads. Why? as a result of mothers need and need time at house with their kids. that point after work is precious, so no matter how superb the event is, they almost certainly received’t come as a result of household matters extra. So after I’m networking, i can’t think like a 29-12 months-outdated single guy. i’ve to assume like the target I’m seeking to attract. the same factor applies to younger Levo ladies. Don’t way them in the best way that’s most relaxed for you. way them where they’re at and with them in thoughts. for example, I’ve discovered that coffees aren’t really the most effective solution to meet people in sure demographics. It’s crucial that all of us attempt to find alternative and new methods to connect with individuals. That’s a vital lesson I’ve realized over time.

—Kevin Conroy Smith, founder of The quantity project

[associated: methods to Be A Mentee A Mentor Would Die For]

4. in addition to looking Up For Mentors, look To Your right And Left

It’s vital to have a good time and elevate your peers. persons are chasing potential mentors, and we must always have a mentor or two, however make stronger and rock with your friends. That girl standing subsequent to it’s good to be the one to rent you in five years, or could be the one contact at a major brand whose sponsor greenbacks you need. It’s a tiny planet and relationships are the whole lot!

—Geneva S. Thomas, founder and editor-in-chief of Jawbreaker.nyc

5. Your Mentor usually Finds You (no longer the opposite direction around)

My mentors discovered me working. My boss was my mentor after I bought my first full-time job when I was once 25. My first boss actually taught me methods to order from eating places as a result of I used to be a black lady from Inglewood, California, and i had by no means had sushi, I had never been to Mr. Chow, I had by no means been to a cafe on Rodeo power in Beverly Hills, however with this new job I had conferences there. She helped me with the whole lot from my skin to my hair to what to order. She bought me my first reward card to Barney’s; I understand that considering, “what’s Barney’s?” The sheer undeniable fact that I had to go into Barney’s was a mentoring experience. It used to be exposure, which I imagine is your best education. Your mentor frequently finds you doing great work. individuals think that mentors come with angel wings and fall from the heavens: “i’m your mentor.” It’s on a regular basis not like that. It’s usually someone who helps you in a undeniable aspect of your lifestyles and grooms you.

—Myleik Teele, founder of curlBOX

6. Don’t all the time search for anyone like you

search for function fashions that you could seem up to and those who take an interest on your occupation. but right here’s the most important warning: You don’t must have mentors who look like you. Had I been waiting for a black, female Soviet professional mentor, i might nonetheless be waiting. Most of my mentors have been previous white males, as a result of they had been those who dominated my box.

—Condoleeza Rice, director of Stanford university’s Graduate faculty of industry’s world middle for industry and the economic system, and former U.S. secretary of state

7. Don’t Ask A CEO For The Roadmap—Ask For recommendation On methods to Navigate

Being a mentor is set just believing in anyone and caring enough to share your information. My mentors don’t necessarily have the answer to the whole thing, however what they are able to do is to share wisdom and experiences. after I meet anyone that I want to be my mentor, I just want them to inform me stories. I just want to sit down with them and take in as a lot history from their lives as i will. there’s this richness in historical past and the wisdom that comes from expertise that trumps any kind of smarts.

To me, that’s what mentorship is: drawing from that wisdom. When any individual who is 25 is asking me questions now at 34, that’s what they are soliciting for. They aren’t asking me to simply tell them exactly what to do. they are asking me to care enough to give them the proper story for what they’re on the lookout for of their lifestyles at the moment. because that’s exactly what I ask for. I tell my mentors precisely what’s going on with me and that i ask, “Is there anything on your life that you can draw from to lend a hand me?” They’ve been there. I need to learn from the errors of the previous. I need to analyze from the successes.

—Scooter Braun, founder of school Boy data

eight. needless to say to present And Take—Don’t Be A grasping Mentee

Mentorship is ready being able to empower each different, being keen to hear, supply advice and teach people. In so many sides of my occupation, mentorship and the theory of empowering each and every other has been an enormous consider my success. whether it was once fundraising or common recommendation, finding people who are prepared to talk to you concerning the course of and imagine in you and share their experiences has been a huge assist to me. It’s like a sisterhood. i like the chance to mentor other folks and share my experiences, and with a bit of luck have individuals analyze from my mistakes and successes.

—Jamie Rutenberg, COO of allure & Chain

9. Mentorship just isn’t A lifestyles Vest

Mentorship just isn’t a existence vest. You can’t attain and claw for folks to avoid wasting you from the deep end, or even save you from the shallow finish— some individuals are in search of mentors in the shallow finish, no longer even doing anything that warrants a mentor. It should be mutually advisable. I consider that in case you’re looking for someone that will help you and you’re no longer bringing anything to the table, that’s actually no longer cool. You should at all times carry something to your mentor’s lifestyles. My mentor has by no means paid for a meal with me—I pay for every single meal as a result of I enjoy her. She was the one who pushed me to stop selling myself quick. She would say, “Myliek, you’re higher than this.” She pushed me unless I eventually believed it.

—Myleik Teele, founder of curlBOX

this text initially appeared on Levo and is reprinted with permission.