Sean Penn and El Chapo? are trying Stanley and Livingstone
The Hollywood actor is not the primary man to meet a criminal mastermind. Wasn’t Dr Livingstone on the lookout for a suspicious sounding source?
sixteen Jan 2016
Sean Penn’s up to date stumble upon with “El Chapo,” the Mexican drug lord, used to be now not the first publicity coup of its kind. i have simply seen a again selection of Gotcha!, the glossy magazine devoted to flattering interviews with superstar on-the-run master criminals – and i see it incorporates an exclusive interview with Dr Livingstone after he used to be tracked down by Henry Morton Stanley. here is an extract from that interview:
“David ‘Dr large’ Livingstone, I presume. How gracious of you to ask Gotcha! into your delightful lakeside place of dwelling. I consider i am proper in saying that you’ve got escaped the attentions of the Scottish police through fleeing to Africa and retaining one step in advance of your pursuers.”
“smartly, my work as a missionary has taken me many a whole lot of miles, incessantly to hitherto unknown places.”
“yes, after all. and that’s your nickname: ‘The Missionary.’ Or, as you’re known in Mexico, ‘El Misionero’. it is a identify that strikes worry in the hearts of your entire rival drug lords.”
“in point of fact, I do have a few general medicines which I administer to the natives who are ill. It’s now not much, but I do my perfect.”
“that is so conventional of your modesty Dr large. despite the fact that you’ve got made millions from you nefarious activities you might be nonetheless your old unassuming self. it is advisable be mixing with the highest echelons of felony society, however instead you live in this pleasant architect-designed minimalist straw hut. I believe, like other celebrity criminals I’ve interviewed, you feel that your lifestyles has been like a ride of discovery. I’m sure you still have an unfulfilled ambition. are you able to inform Gotcha! readers what your dream is?”
“I’d very very similar to to find the supply of the Nile.”
“Oh sure, that must be the place your stash of coke is hidden. Goodness, what’s that noise, tense the peace of your tranquil idyll? Oh, it’s helicopters carrying armed police. Dr Livingstone, will we simply get a picture of you in handcuffs with the lake within the heritage? And do you’ve gotten a white go well with that is much less crumpled?”
remoted in Europe? David Cameron may name a referendum on ecu membership as early as 2016
Brexistentialism: is its actual?
i am ailing of the word “Brexit”. For me, it has became a sign of grinding ecu debates to come back. It fills me with a sense of teudium, if I may just coin a word, or with a way of déjà veu, if I could coin every other.
listed here are some extra compound words which can help to pass the time while the referendum debate drags on. There’s Merxit, when Mrs Merkel is pressured to resign, throwing all negotiations into confusion. Or Czechzit when the Czech Republic’s foreign minister storms out of an all-important summit assembly. Breakzit is when other overseas ministers storm out of a breakfast assembly.
We might also have Brexistentialism when a distinguished workforce of British philosophers concludes that the existence of the european can’t in truth be proved and thus it’s not possible for Britain to detach itself from a non-existent entity.
When the Slovenian prime minister denounces Mr Cameron’s demands as completely unreasonable, this will likely be described by the foreign office as inslovenient. an enormous public demonstration by means of the Out campaign will be referred to as a sceptacular. This will likely be followed by means of an embarrassing squabble in Ukip – a faragago. And when Mr Cameron is forced to place off the vote on Britain’s membership, we will name it a deferendum.
due to a “low wintry weather solar” hitting dispatch monitors, drivers are unable to learn alerts on sure traces photo: Alamy
Sunny announcements
The rail operator Southeastern was mocked final week for blaming the lateness of its trains on “low iciness solar”. in reality, i feel that’s slightly a good excuse; i take advantage of it myself when I’m late for an appointment. the trouble is, whatever they say – whether leaves on the road or whatever – they’re going to be ridiculed.
i think i’ve the answer for rail firms. When trains are delayed they must say nothing. They should retailer their explanations for those unique occasions when trains are on time.
“First great Western are puzzled to announce that the 14.43 to Cardiff will arrive at 14.forty three. this is because of the surprising promptness of an prior train.”
“For passengers on platform three, awaiting the train to Carlisle, this provider will arrive on time, because of the absence of signal screw ups in the Nuneaton area.”
“this is your protect speaking. Following the driving force’s resolution to miss out three intermediate stops, we will be able to be arriving at Orpington as scheduled.”
“We are now arriving into Waterloo the place this educate terminates. due to auspicious climate prerequisites, this provider is miraculously on time and i am modestly gratified if this has brought about you any comfort lately.”
The Hollywood actor just isn’t the primary man to satisfy a felony mastermind. Wasn’t Dr Livingstone looking for a suspicious sounding supply?
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