With perhaps the ugliest shoe creation of all time, Nike and Italian DJ Benny Benassi have collaborated on a just-released slide that incorporates mini fanny packs. And no, it’s not April 1.

Ok, ok, the functionality of this shoe isn’t lost on us. Have I ever thought about how much easier it would be if I could go to my bodega at 11 p.m. without having to wear clothes with pockets or carry a purse? I could wear my nightgown, stick my beer money, keys, and even a lipstick in these slides and be good to go. But where would I keep my dignity?

Nike “Fanny Pack” Benassi Slides Summer 2018 pic.twitter.com/zmyqkHmNpP

— J23 iPhone App (@J23app) May 29, 2018

It’s hard to fully grasp what Nike was thinking when it decided to release these shoes. But I imagine America’s fascination with ugly shoes must somehow be tempting to shoe designers. Crocs, for instance, are mocked ceaselessly, but the brand still sells millions a year. Birkenstock was once considered nothing but functional, but they’ve become a fashion statement over the last year. And let’s not forget that time we all decided UGGs were hot.

Still, we need to acknowledge that there’s a line between “so ugly it somehow works” and “so ugly nobody will wear them.” IMHO, these fall squarely into the latter category.