2016’s Presidential Hopefuls Rebranded As Black steel Bands

as a result of let’s face it: regardless of which aspect of the ticket you’ll be punching, you think as a minimum one of those guys is the antichrist.

June 24, 2015

because the primaries fast method, presidential hopefuls are unveiling their professional campaign logos, and let’s talk it seems that. whether or not the logo is an “H” that functions as a form of political Rorschach check; a symbol that appears love it was once simply plucked from the aspect of the pyramid HQ of a dystopian mega-agency in Blade Runner; or the exclamatory wordmark of a rustic-fried bumpkin who seems stunned that he is working for president, the logos we now have seen up to now leave us mostly underwhelmed.

We felt sorry for the design-blind politicians who’re all vying to be our subsequent president, so we decided to help. We became to essentially the most prolific emblem dressmaker on the planet, Christophe Szpajdel, to create fully new identities for 11 presidential hopefuls, ranging from Jeb Bush to Bernie Sanders. a qualified emblem clothier on the grounds that 1977, Szpadjel has spent the previous forty years distilling the advanced socio-political platforms of over 7,000 black metallic bands like Fistula, Arcturus, old Man’s kid, and Moonspell down to single, indelible wordmarks— albeit ones that on a regular basis incorporate a bloody Pentagram or an the wrong way up move someplace within the design. this is what he came up with (aspect-through-facet comparisons beneath, unadulterated metal versions above).

Jeb Bush

Bush’s 2016 presidential logo is striking for the fact that it does not embody his family title. Szpajdel takes a distinct manner and makes the thorny branches of a Bush a part of the design. each and every one drips blood, however Szpajdel didn’t discard the whole lot from Jeb’s current emblem: a surprised exclamation level hovers above the rest of the wordmark.

Lincoln Chafee

in case you kind of blur your eyes, Democrat Lincoln Chafee’s new brand type of looks as if the Batman symbol, albeit for a Batman who changed into Dracula someplace down the road.

Hillary Clinton

In Szpajdel’s design, Hillary Clinton’s “H”—which naysayers derided for pointing to the fitting—conjures up a new brand by which razor sharp arrows pierce her title from both the left and the proper. meanwhile, the “H” itself nearly serves as a kind of daemonic glyph, the more or less factor you might to find scratched on the basement walls at the finish of the Blair Witch undertaking.

Ted Cruz

In real life, Ted Cruz is a southern baptist, so Szpajdel comprises a celtic go into his emblem as a nod to the candidate’s religion. Szpajdel also references the Texas senator’s go-to facial expression within the blank moon of his logo’s “C.”

Carly Fiorina

The identify of ex-HP CEO Carly Fiorina has been turned into a majestic, Vlad-the-Impaler-model spike: accurately enough, the sort of stuff you’d simply hate to get shoved up your ass for four years.

Mike Huckabee

The slogan for Mike Huckabee’s 2016 presidential marketing campaign is: “From hope to better ground.” Szpajdel imagines this larger ground as a mountain, utterly undermined with the aid of a network of underground fissures major straight to hell, spelling out Huckabee’s identify.

Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s 2016 presidential brand already seemed like something peeled off Al Pacino’s stationery from The satan’s suggest, so in truth, Szpajdel failed to have to do much to draw out the Satanism.

Rick Perry

Please rise for our next president, the diabolical goat man, Rick Perry! Hail Lucifer!

Marco Rubio

In Marco Rubio’s widely lampooned presidential emblem, all of the united states is reduced to a single dot above the “i” in his final title. however why cease there? Szpadjel covers the Rubio brand in dots like a virus of Rubella—or, should we are saying, Rubio-ella? (not that he is likely to get it himself: Rubio believes in vaccination, even though his constituency doesn’t.)

Bernie Sanders

Ah, Bernie. he’s the candidate least prone to promote america’s soul to Beelzebub, so Szpajdel did not have much subject matter to work with in his redecorate. as an alternative, the Lord of emblems just tried to make Sanders look as bitching as imaginable.