The internet offers hedge fund managers some hilarious advice, familiar to millennials

By Joe Berkowitz

The cleverly coordinated market manipulation has moved even some unlikely voices to rejoice around the so-called little people sticking it to Master of the Universe-types by exploiting their own exploitative loopholes and practices.

Now, as the newly chastened hedge fund managers at Melvin Capital nurse fiscal wounds from this industry-disrupting broadside, perhaps they could use some advice from people who didn’t recently go bust on a bad investment.

Considering that millennials came of age during a rolling series of financial crises, they’ve had some amazing opportunities to absorb the business wisdom of their economic betters. As such, many millennials on Twitter, along with some supportive elder pals, have only been too happy to return the favor, offering the same sort of helpful advice they were given while watching the bank bailouts of 2009, say, or the large business PPP loans of 2020.

Some suggested practicing an oft-preached footwear-related exercise:

Others offered tips on cutting corners on those bottom line-damaging daily extravagances that are ultimately unnecessary.

Several suggested that an exciting change in educational direction might be the key to solvency.

Some were brimming with so much helpful advice, they doled it out in helpful omnibuses.

Mostly, though, people offered crucial pro tips about setting aside a healthy reserve of savings and taking more financial responsibility overall.

And if all else fails, according to at least one Twitterer, perhaps the government will come to the rescue.

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