The “President Hillary” alt universe on Twitter is not the liberal fantasy you’d imagine
The shock of Election Night 2016 pushed a lot of Americans into looking at reality in new ways. Previously oblivious folks became politically active for the first time ever. One man retreated into an elaborate, self-imposed total news blackout. A lot of people purchased the novel 1984.
Comedian Laurie Kilmartin, meanwhile, began to document The New Normal as if it were occurring from a different part of the multiverse–specifically, the part where Hillary Clinton had been elected president. Two years on, she is still doing it.
But Kilmartin’s rendering of President Hillary Clinton has been no liberal fantasia. Rather than channeling the day-to-day doings of an administration that would never be, Kilmartin used her conceit to attribute Donald Trump’s most egregious moments to the fictional first female president. Kilmartin’s Twitter creation is a photo-negative timeline of Donald Trump’s presidency that imagines Clinton doing exactly what he does. The unspoken part of each tweet is the media and the rest of the world reacting to her trying to get away with it.
The comic first started chronicling her bizarro world version of America right after Trump’s inauguration.
Fact check: President Hillary Clinton overstates crowd size at her inaugural. https://t.co/zpYLDTNqie
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) January 22, 2017
At the time, Kilmartin–an author and veteran TV writer who’s currently working on Conan–could have only imagined how relatively tame and quaint Trump’s crowd-size lies would soon seem.
Chelsea Clinton takes job advising her mother President Hillary Clinton https://t.co/RNWczqfVXY
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 30, 2017
JUST IN: President Hillary Clinton is using campaign & DNC funds to pay Benghazi probe legal bills https://t.co/P6M4pbqbkU
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) September 19, 2017
President Hillary Clinton’s schedule is heavy on “executive time”—i.e., time for television, Twitter and phone calls with friends https://t.co/kZw6Ws4Y7e
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) January 8, 2018
Going down the rabbit hole of Kilmartin’s tweets reveals anew what a farce it is that Trump appears unencumbered by truth or consequences.
President Hillary Clinton accused Republicans who did not clap during her State of the Union address of being treasonous https://t.co/IawjMThqJB
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) February 6, 2018
President Hillary Clinton “rarely if ever reads the President’s Daily Brief,” as reading is not her “preferred style of learning.” https://t.co/wxkqh1lqWT
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) February 9, 2018
After President Hillary Clinton’s 29 year old male “emotional crutch” resigned last week, she started a trade war with several European allies.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 4, 2018
Lawyers for President Hillary Clinton are trying to stop @60Minutes from airing an interview with male porn star Storm Daniels, who alleges the two had an affair.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 11, 2018
Looking at this administration through the prism of Hillary Clinton headlines also offers a reflection of our own biases. Hillary Clinton inspired a unique kind of ire in the people who opposed her, so just imagine the apocalyptic rage haters would be spewing if these Trumpian headlines had actually been attributed to her in real life. The anti-Hillary bile would be the most combustible, but you can sub in any liberal female politician and imagine a response that’s almost as apoplectic. (Hi, Speaker Pelosi.)
The echo you’re hearing right now is all the phantom conservative outrage Donald Trump’s actions somehow still never seems to stir up.
Two years after his election, as women overwhelmingly succeeded in the midterms, this thread is a stark reminder of the gulf separating standards of acceptable behavior between men and women–even the Sliding Doors versions of those women. Have a look below at some more of our favorite examples from Kilmartin’s collection.
Questions surrounded the immigration status of President Hillary Clinton’s in-laws, who came here from Slovenia after their son Melon became Mrs. Clinton’s 3rd husband.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 4, 2018
The gift shop at Clinton Tower (President Hillary Clinton’s luxury skyscraper on Fifth Ave) is illegally selling mugs emblazoned with the presidential seal.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 7, 2018
Chelsea Clinton refused to comment on the 19 men who allege that her mother, President Hillary Clinton, acted inappropriately toward them. Chelsea called the question “inappropriate.”
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 11, 2018
Aides told President Hillary Clinton if she vetoed the omnibus (thus shutting down the government), then spent the weekend at her private resort, the optics would be bad. She said “fuck that,” signed the bill and took Marine One to her resort.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 24, 2018
President Hillary Clinton, whose company Clinton Org owns hotels all over the world, suggested Kim Jong Un allow hotel construction along North Korea’s beaches. (It is unclear if Mrs. Clinton was pitching her company, which is currently being run by Hillary Clinton Jr.)
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) June 12, 2018
Around midnight, President Hillary Clinton sent an all caps tweet to Iran, threatening war. It is unclear what Iran did to trigger Mrs Clinton’s ire.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) July 23, 2018
Today, President Hillary Clinton is at Clinton Resort and Day Spa in Virginia, marking the 159th day at one of her day spas and 210th day at a Clinton property since taking office.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) October 15, 2018
President Hillary Clinton, whose family makes millions in hotel fees from the Saudi Royal family, has accepted the Saudi Royal family’s explanation- that journalist Jamal Khashoggi died during a fistfight with 15 associates of the Saudi Royal family.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) October 20, 2018
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