These are the top 10 most passive-aggressive phrases you’re probably using in email
More hybrid and remote work has increased our written communication, via email, IMs, DMs, and texting. The problem with these types of correspondence is that nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and inflection, are missing, and the underlying tone of the message has to be inferred by the recipient. Unfortunately, the human brain naturally skews toward the negative. Your message may come across as aggressive, condescending, or just plain rude, when that was never your intent.
It can be tricky to gauge someone’s tone through an email or Slack message. The team at WordFinder by Your Dictionary studied emails and found some commonly used workplace jargon and terms come across as passive-aggressive in writing. Whether it’s intentional or not, using them can make others uncomfortable, create tension, or even jeopardize your job.
These 10 phrases were rated as seeming the most passive-aggressive:
While, “I’ll take care of it,” “any update on this,” and “sorry to bother you again” were among the least-used passive-aggressive phrases.
“Communication in the workplace can be hard,” says Michael Kwan, content lead for WordFinder. “For better or worse, digital communication— whether through email or direct messages on platforms like Slack—doesn’t let us see each other’s immediate reactions, which is why we look for ways to politely express irritation. As a result, employee frustration and miscommunication are at an all-time high, with tone alone being misinterpreted quite a bit in email communication.”
How to Remove the Passive-Aggressive Tone
No one wants to be misunderstood. Before you shoot off an email or Slack, decide if the conversation is better suited for face-to-face conversation, suggests Kwan. For example, if you need to provide an employee with constructive criticism or feedback, it’s best to schedule a Zoom meeting or, at the very least, pick up the phone. You’ll have a better opportunity to use vocal inflection and facial expressions to temper the message.
If your message is one that can be relayed over email, reread the words, thinking about tone and potential reception, says Kwan. Pretend you are the recipient. If any part of the communication feels uncomfortable or unclear or if it triggers negative emotions, try rethinking your approach. You could change the method of delivery, or you can reword your message, removing phrases that can be interpreted as being negative.
To communicate effectively, it’s important to think about how you want to receive an email or message and how you would interpret it, says Kwan. “The more genuine you can be in your communication, avoiding what may appear to be a flippant canned response, the better,” he says.
Difficult conversations will happen in the workplace, no matter what form of communication you use. So it’s important to remove as much emotion and ambiguity as possible. Phrase things in a way in which you communicate the message clearly and feel you’re being heard, understood, and received in the way you intend, says Kwan.
“Open and honest communication is the best way people can work together,” says Kwan. “If you lay your cards on the table, and both parties approach the situation in good faith, you can arrive at a mutually acceptable solution.”
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