Today in Tabs: Election Bae

“The time to hesitate is through! No time to wallow in Stephen Harper’s mire,” Canadian voters announced (October 21, 2015) with a landslide victory for the Liberal Party and its leader, maple-flavored Jim Morrison clone Justin Trudeau. Harper will step down as Conservative Party leader and, as is Canadian custom, will be stripped of his holdings in Canadian Tire money and jeered in all Tim Horton’s for the next nine years. The other interesting Canadian, Drake, celebrated election day by putting on a baggy turtleneck sweater and doing the Carlton Dance in Don Johnson’s neon spaceship, which everyone loved because, as Kara Brown explained, Drake is the best at being a dork.

Amazon, in the form of ex-White House press secretary and book fancier Jay Carney, picked a fight with the New York Times over the paper’s August exposé of the difficult working and pooping conditions faced by the dystopian online conglomerate’s future ex-employees. Carney quoted from one source’s employee review and alleged fraud on the part of another, in what probably didn’t seem to him like a vindictive and bullying response given the company’s notoriously vicious corporate culture. Dean Baquet replied that the Times has confidence in its reporting and that none of Carney’s points were particularly relevant or damning. Carney responded to the response, but added nothing. Ravi Somaiya and Nick Wingfield at the Times got a story out of it, and John Herrman transcribed some of his by-now permanently ongoing interior monologue on the future of media. The winner of the dispute was Medium.

In ever more futuristic and utopian Europe, Oslo is moving to ban cars entirely by 2019. Back home in America, on the morning of Canada’s overwhelming shift to the center, embarrassing nitwit David Brooks is “sensing a loss of confidence in the center. . . .,” and a judge in Alabama is literally squeezing blood from the poor.

Rembert Browne joined NY Magazine (October 21, 2015), continuing the ongoing disassembly of Bill Simmons’s Grantland. CNN is getting into the viral video and native ad game. “will only awaken in prison for the next 78 months. “The kebab cat tweet is old; it predates humanity by billions of years. Nobody wrote the kebab cat tweet. It just hid, biding its time until it found its perfect host.” Play Toph Tucker’s Trading Game on Bloomberg.

Today’s Instagram: Sad Topographies

Today in 8 Bit: Hotline Bloop

Today’s Song: New Kanye, “Say You Will“

~It’s not unusual to see me tab~

Thanks to Casey Kolderup for remembering that incredible Jay Carney story from the Daily Mail. Today in Tabs used to call you on your cell phone. Late at night when you need Fast Company. We’ll call you on your email. Late at night when we need your subs.