What to spend your stimulus check on
Americans should have started receiving their $1,200 stimulus checks this week. For those of us who haven’t seen it either snatched by our banks or already spent it on trivial items like bills, food, medicine, and rent, have I got great news: there’s still a massive, dysfunctional capitalist economy for us to prop up in this age of pestilence. Please, think of the billionaires and check out all these superfluous things you can buy with the remainder of your check!
Apple’s new iPhone SE is surprisingly powerful for $399
Can’t bear to not have the latest and greatest in mid-range smartphones during the quarantine? Apple’s got you covered. For between a third and half of your payout, you can now preorder the iPhone SE. With any luck, it will arrive just before we’re allowed to stand within six feet of one another.
Arturia’s KeyStep Pro MIDI controller is out now for $399
Still have a third of your stimulus check burning a hole in your pocket along with a burning desire to make your neighbors’ quarantines just a little bit worse? Then the KeyStep Pro is the MIDI controller for you. Go ahead, let your synth flag fly and “entertain” the entire neighborhood!
Best Buy sale knocks the Pixelbook Go’s starting price down to $584
Best Buy is taking a break from furloughing 51,000 of its hourly workers to bring you a great deal on Google’s Pixelbook Go laptop. For just less than half of your stimulus check you can have an entry-level Go delivered to your door, or if you want to splurge and spend two thirds of your check, Best Buy is also offering its mid-tier Core i5 version at an $85 discount.
Get $66 off Withings’ low-key Steel HR smartwatch
Do you need a Withings’ Steel HR smartwatch when you’re stuck indoors 23 hours a day and the longest distance you walk is from the couch to the fridge and back? Of course not. Can you buy a Withings’ Steel HR smartwatch for less than ten percent of your stimulus check total? Yes, yes you indeed can.
Google Pixel 4 drops to $449 at Best Buy
Ok, I’ll admit it, this is a very tempting deal given that I’m still rocking a Pixel 2 whose battery life cratered the day after I paid it off and whose charging cable now needs to be secured overnight with rubber bands. But now is not the time for frivolous purchase — at least until the government starts issuing checks monthly, then it’s time to spend, spend, spend!
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