Why Angela Merkel’s negotiations with Turkey are being concerned for the united kingdom

The German Chancellor needs to be reasonable when coming to a deal over migrants with Turkey – particularly when the u . s . is soon to get early, visa-free acess to Europe with the aid of June
Turkish Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoglu and German Chancellor Angela Merkel listen to their countries' respective national anthems following Devatoglu's arrival for German-Turkish government consultations at the Chancellery.

Ahmet Davutoglu and Angela Merkel listen to their countries’ respective national anthems following Mr Davutoglu’s arrival in Berlin for German-Turkish executive consultations  photograph: Getty

anyone who has stopped to have a look at a carpet in Turkey is aware of how it goes. First, the loopy opening price. You shake your head and stroll away. Ahmet coaxes you into his keep with smiles and voluble assurances: “Byooutiful girl, pliiss, I give you verrayy gud prayce!”

Then, apple tea. Seated on a low bench, nursing your scalding glass, you might be invited to admire the perfection of the rug, hand-woven by using blind kids in Turkmenistan, which you might be so strangely refusing to buy.

At this point, summoning what is still of your willpower, you attempt to go away the keep. You promise Ahmet that you’re going to consider his rug and return.

that is why the Turks refer scathingly to British tourists as “possibly later”. they have got grown sensible to our evasive, apologetic methods. They understand that “possibly later” is English for “by no means”.

Istanbul shopping guide: bazaars and beyondA procuring centre in Istanbul.  photo: Alamy

So, ahead of you get to the door, Ahmet starts unrolling a number of different rugs with numerous grunting and mopping of forehead. At this level, a young boy could also be summoned to help, adding to the pathos of the scene. Or, there’s the nuclear possibility: kittens.

i know one Turkish rug seller who has a provide of kittens out back, figuring out full smartly the British inability to assert no to a fluffy small animal. So, with a kitten in a single hand, apple tea within the other and 19 similar rugs at your ft, the Turk has you exactly where he wants you: helpless and too guilty to claim no.

show any closing batsqueak of resistance and he’s going to whip out a photograph of Angelina Jolie posing with blind, kid rug-weavers in Turkmenistan. the exact same youngsters who in my opinion made your rug! And, sure, he can ship your carpet to the united kingdom, for a very good price, which, when brought to the price of the rug, comes to… the loopy figure he quoted whilst you first tried to run away!

The high Minister of Turkey, Ahmet Davutoglu.

Do you reckon the high Minister of Turkey, Ahmet Davutoglu, took some apple tea and kittens to Brussels on Monday to haggle his migrant deal with the ecu? indubitably, Angela Merkel appeared like a byyooutiful woman provided a verrayy gud prayce through Ahmet when she said: “a further €three billion will probably be needed on the request of Turkey. We said in principle that this used to be a welcome means.”

A welcome method? Angela, get a grip! The German Chancellor is significantly considering of giving Ahmet six billion Euros, double what Turkey was once first provided. In return, Turkey will take back any failed asylum seekers from Greece. on the other hand, for every migrant Turkey takes again, the ecu will take one Syrian from a Turkish refugee camp.

The Turkish and European flag.  photo: GETTY images

Plus, Turkey will get early, visa-free acess to Europe through June, and is also waved thru into full membership of the ecu, because of this seventy five million Turks will be entitled to maneuver to Basingstoke.

this can be the first recorded occasion by which Christmas has voted for turkeys.

talking as a veteran haggler with Turkish carpet-marketers, i’ve some advice for Frau Merkel. Put down the kitten and the apple tea, return to the hotel and take a chilly bathe.

Ahmet is working rings round you, love. which you can’t pay him to take the migrants away after which let him ship all of them again again with a few million further thrown in. if you find yourself about to be had by means of a Turk, there is just one thing left to claim: “perhaps later.”

The German Chancellor needs to be sensible when coming to a deal over migrants with Turkey – especially when the united states of america is quickly to get early, visa-free acess to Europe by way of June

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